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November 02nd, 2017

11/2/2017

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Finding The Good in Ourselves and Others

11/2/2017

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Most of us know people whose characteristic thoughts and reactions are so negative and, we prefer to keep them at a distance. They are likely to notice the bad qualities in others rather than the good ones. For example, when they may see someone walking down the street laughing or wearing a big smile, they’re likely to think the person is simple-minded, drunk, or high rather than happy. Many people associate someone who is mostly happy as naive, immature or incompetent.
    On the one hand, if people are surrounded by lots of bad behaving, hostile and unsupportive people, it makes sense that they will have a negative views of humanity. On the other hand, too many can’t see far enough beyond their negative views to see  that there is good in the worse of us and bad in the best of us.
    To make matters worse, our own brain is conspiring against us. We have what psychologists call an intrinsic negativity bias. It’s the tendency to focus on and give more weight to negative experiences or information than we do of positive ones. It turns out that negativity bias is so ingrained in our psychology that it has already developed and become measurable by age 3, the time we become aware of ourselves as people.
    Still some people are noticeably worse than others at being negative. It starts with our early training. Our parents, teachers, and other adults tell us to act like a grown-up. We’re told to calm down, be quiet, and stop being so silly. Some of us grow up accepting these messages and the feelings of guilt that go along with them and incorporate them in our self messages. Psychologists call this inner voice self-talk, and it includes our conscious thoughts as well as our unconscious assumptions or beliefs. As we go about our daily lives we are constantly thinking about and interpreting situations in which we find ourselves. What kind of self talk is it? Is it mostly negative as in “you are too fat”, or is it positive as in; “keep at it, you can do it”?
    That internal voice in our head determines how we feel. As it turns out, if you can’t see the good traits in yourself, you’re likely to miss the best qualities in others. Seeing the good in others is thus a very powerful way to feel happier and more confident and more loving toward yourself.
    Even crooks, deadbeats, sociopaths, and everyone you know must have useful virtues, such as determination, generosity, kindness, patience, energy, perseverance, honesty, fairness, or compassion.
    It is likely that the good you see in others is also in you. You can't see that good if you did not have an inkling of what it was.
    You, too, have positive intentions, real abilities, and virtues of mind and heart. Those qualities are a fact, as much a fact as the chair you're sitting on. Take a moment to let that fact sink in. You don't need a halo to be a truly good person: A good enough person will do.
    As you become more proficient in finding positive aspects in other people, you get better at seeing positive aspects of yourself. Seeing the good in other people is not just necessary for having good relationships; it will also substantially improves your relationship with yourself.
What’s a Person To Do?
1. Take an inventory of your own good qualities. It’s not necessary to be flawless to be good enough person. Are you an honest person who speaks the truth with compassion, a good listener, appropriate, responsible, and on-point whenever it’s required? Do pay your bills, keep your word, forgive when things go wrong? That’s just a list. Make your own.
2. Keep an eye on the things you tell yourself, and challenge the negative self talk which produce negative feelings.
3. Your current way of thinking might be self-defeating. If it   doesn’t make you feel good or help you to get what you want, it’s time for a change.
4. Disputing your negative self-talk means challenging it and rewriting the negative to a more positive view.
5. Be willing to try and try again until you get it right.
    Remember, you and only you are in charge of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. How you treat others is likely to be how you treat yourself. Good luck with the positive changes.   



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Using Words to Heal or To Harm

11/2/2017

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     The power of the mind is in the words it kindles. Words Make Worlds is a statement attributed to Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel and has been the catalyst for many thinkers and researchers to consider the depth and breath of the concept and measure the impact words and thoughts have on the human psyche and behavior.
    Psychologist call thinking self-talk while speaking is the words we choose to share with others. Every word you choose to think and speak impacts your present and future because it sets an important footprint in your brain, for picking up signals in the environment that will confirm your beliefs, view of reality, and ways you perceive what is and how to behave.      That simply means that thinking and saying words can transform the structure of your brain and the nature of your reality, thereby moving you to act in certain ways.  
    In the book, Words Can Change Your Brain, Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist at Thomas Jefferson University, and Mark Robert Waldman, a communications expert, found Positive words, like “peace” and “love” can alter the expression of genes, strengthen areas in our frontal lobes and promote the cognitive functioning which lead to positive action and build resiliency.
    Conversely, according to the authors, “Hostile language can disrupt the production of neurochemicals that protect us from stress.” Humans are hardwired to worry, go negative and imagine the worse. Our primal brains were designed that way to alert us to threats to our survival when the world was a very dangerous place. However, a single negative word can increase the fear center of the brain and interrupt the part of our brain that’s responsible for logic, reason, and language. For example, “Angry words send alarm messages through the brain, and partially shut down the logic-and-reasoning centers located in the frontal lobes,” write Newberg and Waldman.
    Over time the structure of the thalamus (our movement message center)changes in response to our conscious words, thoughts, feelings and behaviors. “A single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress." Using positive words rather than negative ones  can activate the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them into positive action.
    According to Newberg and Waldman, “The longer you concentrate on positive things, the better you feel and behave  whereas a negative thought moves you toward suspicion and doubt.”     SO, here is what we know for sure. Every word you choose to think and speak impacts your present and future because it sets an important footprint in your brain. A positive view of yourself helps toward seeing the good in others. The words we choose to think, the words we choose to speak are the most basic blueprint for being in the world.
    We can choose to use our words to compel our best thoughts, greatest creativity, noblest ideals or to take us down a path of stress, frustration and negativity.
    Words make worlds. The words we use do not merely describe our stories they create our lives. We are our thoughts, thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
    Too often these days, language has become double-talk,  reduced to labels, fake news, name calling and lack of charity towards others. We have the ability and the responsibility to make that different. We must choose to use words to compel our best thoughts, greatest creativity, noblest ideals and remember that we are part of a mighty, ongoing story toward making this world a better place.
What’s A Person To Do?
1. Start today. Chose the words on which to focus your energy. If you notice your life isn’t exactly as you like, try changing several key words you use to in describe your life and your hopes for the future.
2. We each have a unique purpose that drives our best thoughts and produce our best behaviors. Every person is important to our individual and collective connection, success and productivity. What’s your contribution?
3. Make the critical shift forward by embracing your ability to use words, think thoughts that bring about positive change in your life and the lives of those you touch.
4. Choose words, thoughts and take actions that open the hearts and minds of yourself and others.
5.  Like Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, know that being human means doing good in the world.



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Motivating Kids To Learn

11/2/2017

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Motivating Kids To Learn
By
Dr. Rachell N. Anderson
    Some of the best memories of family time from my childhood involved sitting near the potbelly stove, eating a popcorn snack and listening to my mother read stories to us kids in her slow southern drawl. These stories took me to places I wanted to go, and introduced me to people I wanted to meet and made me want to read the stories for myself. But things are different these days. Central utilities have replaced the potbelly stove and parents and kids are on the move and on the couch with ball games, video games, fastchat, facebook and the like. However, mental development is important to the future success of our children.
    Good learners are made, not born and that making begins with the ability to read. Encouraging children to read has been a challenge as long as there have been kids and books. However, reading is essential not only in education but also in life where so much communication takes place through the printed word.
    Every aspect of our lives involve reading; from road signs that tell us how to get there from here to directions for assembling the new toy or how to operate the new tech gadget to the content and cost of that garment or new pair of shoes you want to buy. Reading is fundamental and the best way to develop mentally and move toward future success. The ability to read and understand what was read is vital, children must therefore be encouraged to learn to read at an early age.
    Some parents have discovered that the best way to do that is to show them that reading for pleasure will do the trick.  
    A study in Psychology Today of more than 17,000 people, found that students who read for pleasure not only did better with their vocabulary and spelling, but also in math. Most good students aren't born good learners but most children who are good learners had to become good readers. More importantly, any student who receives the right encouragement can become a good learner.
    To some kids these days, reading and math means using social media, using U rather than You and counting the scores while playing sports video games. And that’s OK as long as this is limited, non-violent and are not the only reading they do.      Let your children see you read. The noted online health source, WebMD points out, that parents are children’s biggest role model. Children listen to their parents and want to be like them. I helps if Parents practice the values they preach.
    The following are proven tips and strategies that will motivate your child to learn. Apply them correctly, and you'll see your child or student discover the joy of learning.
What’s A Person To Do?
1. Develop an atmosphere of reading. Surround your children with reading material. Children with a large collection of reading material at home score higher and perform better on standardized tests.
2. Read several stories to your children every day. The more children are exposed to literature, the more reading will become part of their daily life. A child is introduced to new information, concepts, and phonemic awareness with every story.
 3. Give positive reinforcement. This could just be telling your child how great they’re doing, giving them a hug, complimenting them to others–generally helping them feel good for their accomplishments. This can help motivate your kids to do more, while at the same time boosting their self-esteem.
4.Let them choose what they read. Reading for pleasure is one of the best ways for a child to improve his performance at school, but teaching a child to love reading involves a lot more than simply handing him a book. Letting children have choices in their reading material goes a long way in raising life-long readers. Kids who choose what they read, regardless of whether it’s a novel, a comic book, or a magazine, are more engaged with what they are reading.
5. Encourage a wide variety of reading activities
    Make reading an essential part of your children’s lives. Let them read menus, movie names, roadside signs, game guides, weather reports, and other practical everyday information. Always try to make sure your children have something to read in their spare time.
6. Show interest in your child’s reading. Give hugs and ask questions about what they read. Your response or feedback has a strong effect on how hard they will try to become good readers.  
7. Have regular library outings. Let children chose what books they want to read.     
   
  Dr. Rachell Anderson is a native of Tunica, a licensed Clinical Psychologist, a Professor Emeritus and author. She taught at the University of Illinois and ran a Private Clinical Practice in Springfield, Illinois for many years. She now lives in Tunica and writes with the Tunica Chapter of the Mississippi Writers Guild in Tunica, Mississippi. Check out her website at WWW.drrachellanderson.com for more articles and books she has written.

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What Psychologists Tell Us About Racism

11/2/2017

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   What Psychologists Tell Us About Racism
   By
Dr. Rachell N. Anderson
    Many wise people strongly believe that respect for the inherent worth and dignity of each member of the human family is the psychological foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world. They believe we were all created by the same God and know that variations in the genome is very small at just 0.1% among all humans. Race is a construction, designed for a purpose. Just as race is a construction, so is racism. It’s learned behavior. Racism has is about thinking of oneself as different from other people. People who hold racists beliefs and behaviors see others as less than, and themselves as superior. Just as you have beliefs about everything- about poor people or immigrants, for example, you have to wonder where those beliefs began and how they are reinforced.
    Racism is constructed and reinforced by the social environment in which we live; teaching from our families, the schools and churches we attend, and our neighbors.
    Racism is a problem in the human family. Both active racism and passive acceptance of race-based thinking disrupt the mental health and psychological functioning of both victims and its perpetrators. And, racism is expensive both fiscally and psychologically. We put up fences, live in gated communities, lock our cars and hold our purses close when we see people who are different from ourselves. And while we’re doing that, our anxiety grows. The psychological toll racism takes on all people is measurable. People get depressed, fearful and anxious. It comes up physically with high blood pressure and heart disease. Those who are victims of racism are constantly on the look-out fearing someone or something will hurt them and their family members and/or put them at a disadvantage. Their fear may make them want to fight or flee.
    Dr. Patricia Dass-Brailsford of Georgetown University believes that psychological and behavioral problems are expressions of pain and efforts to cope with unacceptable environmental demands.
    According to Dr. Morgan T. Sammons, Ph.D, ABPP of the National Register of Health Services Providers, “We define “race” largely as a way of classifying people according to skin tone...” Since the early 19th century, in America, our obsession with race has been with proving the genetic, intellectual and social inferiority of African and native peoples. Before that, during the great waves of migration to America other groups from Italy, Eastern Europe, and Asia
    So, in our society, most people have racial biases of which they may or may not be aware. With so much material to absorb, humans need to catagorize things in order to make sense of them. However, whether these unconscious biases develop into hateful beliefs and actions are also learned. People who are racist become more racist, when something they believe in is threatened.
    Research from Social psychologists working in the field of attribution theory consistently showed the effects of perceptions based on skin pigmentation or other external characteristics. They remind us that even if “race” doesn’t exist as a genetic phenomenon, racism certainly is clearly linked to how we behave toward people. For instance, in the criminal justice system juries tend to assign blame and hand down the death penalty according to their perception of a particular group.
    Dr. Gordon Allport, Ph.D. conducted a longstanding line of research that aimed to combat bias among conflicting groups. He called it contact hypothesis. He found that contact between members of different groups could assist in reducing prejudice and promote greater understanding between groups. Additional research suggest cooperation towards shared goals, equal status between groups, and the support of local authorities and cultural norms enhance the process. In other words, different groups can come together as part of one overarching community.
    To help reduce the problem of racism in the human family,
Psychologists encourage each of us to do our part.
What’s A Person To Do?
1. The more you connect with people unlike yourself the more you’ll learn and the wiser you’ll be. Connection promotes identification with other people and the groups to which they belong. In other words, your relationships with other people become part of who you are. This is referred to as including the other in the self, a notion introduced by Stephen Wright, Arthur Aron and colleagues.
2. Refuse to utter or listen to the negative, simplistic and painful stereotypes we all know well. We’re less likely hold on to what is not constantly repeated. It’s nearly impossible to hold onto a simplistic, negative stereotype of someone you know well.
3. Examine your own thoughts and behaviors and determine if they are consistent with how you want to be thought of and treated as a member of the human family. Do your best to make the necessary changes in dealing with others.
(C))Dr. Rachell N. Anderson
  Dr. Rachell Anderson is a native of Tunica, a licensed Clinical Psychologist, a Professor Emeritus and author. She taught at the University of Illinois and ran a Private Clinical Practice in Springfield, Illinois for many years. She now lives in Tunica and writes with the Tunica Chapter of the Mississippi Writers Guild in Tunica, Mississippi. Check out her website at WWW.drrachellanderson.com for more articles and books she has written.
0 Comments

Motivating Kids To Learn

11/2/2017

0 Comments

 

Motivating Kids To Learn
By
Dr. Rachell N. Anderson
    Some of the best memories of family time from my childhood involved sitting near the potbelly stove, eating a popcorn snack and listening to my mother read stories to us kids in her slow southern drawl. These stories took me to places I wanted to go, and introduced me to people I wanted to meet and made me want to read the stories for myself. But things are different these days. Central utilities have replaced the potbelly stove and parents and kids are on the move and on the couch with ball games, video games, fastchat, facebook and the like. However, mental development is important to the future success of our children.
    Good learners are made, not born and that making begins with the ability to read. Encouraging children to read has been a challenge as long as there have been kids and books. However, reading is essential not only in education but also in life where so much communication takes place through the printed word.
    Every aspect of our lives involve reading; from road signs that tell us how to get there from here to directions for assembling the new toy or how to operate the new tech gadget to the content and cost of that garment or new pair of shoes you want to buy. Reading is fundamental and the best way to develop mentally and move toward future success. The ability to read and understand what was read is vital, children must therefore be encouraged to learn to read at an early age.
    Some parents have discovered that the best way to do that is to show them that reading for pleasure will do the trick.  
    A study in Psychology Today of more than 17,000 people, found that students who read for pleasure not only did better with their vocabulary and spelling, but also in math. Most good students aren't born good learners but most children who are good learners had to become good readers. More importantly, any student who receives the right encouragement can become a good learner.
    To some kids these days, reading and math means using social media, using U rather than You and counting the scores while playing sports video games. And that’s OK as long as this is limited, non-violent and are not the only reading they do.      Let your children see you read. The noted online health source, WebMD points out, that parents are children’s biggest role model. Children listen to their parents and want to be like them. I helps if Parents practice the values they preach.
    The following are proven tips and strategies that will motivate your child to learn. Apply them correctly, and you'll see your child or student discover the joy of learning.
What’s A Person To Do?
1. Develop an atmosphere of reading. Surround your children with reading material. Children with a large collection of reading material at home score higher and perform better on standardized tests.
2. Read several stories to your children every day. The more children are exposed to literature, the more reading will become part of their daily life. A child is introduced to new information, concepts, and phonemic awareness with every story.
 3. Give positive reinforcement. This could just be telling your child how great they’re doing, giving them a hug, complimenting them to others–generally helping them feel good for their accomplishments. This can help motivate your kids to do more, while at the same time boosting their self-esteem.
4.Let them choose what they read. Reading for pleasure is one of the best ways for a child to improve his performance at school, but teaching a child to love reading involves a lot more than simply handing him a book. Letting children have choices in their reading material goes a long way in raising life-long readers. Kids who choose what they read, regardless of whether it’s a novel, a comic book, or a magazine, are more engaged with what they are reading.
5. Encourage a wide variety of reading activities
    Make reading an essential part of your children’s lives. Let them read menus, movie names, roadside signs, game guides, weather reports, and other practical everyday information. Always try to make sure your children have something to read in their spare time.
6. Show interest in your child’s reading. Give hugs and ask questions about what they read. Your response or feedback has a strong effect on how hard they will try to become good readers.  
7. Have regular library outings. Let children chose what books they want to read.     
   
  Dr. Rachell Anderson is a native of Tunica, a licensed Clinical Psychologist, a Professor Emeritus and author. She taught at the University of Illinois and ran a Private Clinical Practice in Springfield, Illinois for many years. She now lives in Tunica and writes with the Tunica Chapter of the Mississippi Writers Guild in Tunica, Mississippi. Check out her website at WWW.drrachellanderson.com for more articles and books she has written.

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Building Resilience In ChildrenByDr. Rachell N. Anderson     Everywhere I go these days, people are complaining about today’s children. They tell me children are sad, angry, anxious, hostile, isolated, alone or withdrawn. They tell me way too many k

11/2/2017

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    Dr. Rachell Anderson's monthly column appears in the Tunica Times in Tunica Mississippi and the Southern Roots Magazine in Meredian, Mississippi.

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