Recently, a friend of mine lost her husband from a massive heart attack. At the funeral, stories abounded about how he passed out money to people who appeared to be homeless or down on their luck. One told of how, on a cold winter day, he took off his jacket and gave it to a man on the street who was cold and shivering. That got me thinking that he was literally a man who would give you the shirt off his back. This is a value we all could emulate. And you may wonder how did he learn these things.
    We are not born with a set of values and rules for living. We learn them from our parents and adults in our lives. We learn by what they say but mostly by what they do or don’t do. We’ll call these family Values. Family values refers to the set of principles and behaviors under which a family functions. They are
ideas, beliefs and behaviors about what’s important, what’s right and what’s not okay for being in the world.  Each family has a different set of values that are meaningful to them.
    If you could take a personal inventory, would you find honesty, trustworthiness, courage, responsibility, empathy, loving kindness, friendliness, helpfulness, patience, persistence or would it be the opposite of these things?
    Our family values are a reflection of who we are and how we teach the next generation. When we speak and live those values, our children learn to do the same. They learn to express themselves, to solve problems, to learn from their mistakes, and  to develop skills that lead to building fulfilling lives.
    Teaching our children a lesson or two about respect is one thing, but making sure we are listening to our children is an entirely different subject, and one of paramount importance.
To teach loyalty, we must demonstrate to our children that we are with them through triumph and struggles. To promote curiosity and different ways of learning, we must encourage and provide opportunities for discovery. To develop sociability, we must teach cooperation, listen to their ideas without blaming, shaming or condemning ideas that’s different from ours. To develop resilience, we must allow them to meet challenges, make mistakes, experience failures and garner the wear-with-all to make the necessary repairs. We must hold them accountable for their actions so they can learn to make amends for the mistakes they cast toward others. We forgive them when they wrong us so they can learn to forgive others who wrong them. We struggle to make our best decisions, achieve our goals and solve problems and seek help when don’t have the answers. We do these things so they can learn that so much of life requires reflections and hard work. We help others in need to show our children how to make a difference in the world.
    We laugh, we play and have fun and, we have dreams of our own that we are working to realize. Our children need to know that we are human being who have needs of our own and who are growing and imperfect.
What’s A Person To Do?
1. Take an inventory of your personal values. It’s okay to put them in writing.
2. Make every effort to live those values everyday.
3. Respond to others with kindness, empathy and gratitude.
4. Access to discover if your words and behaviors are consistent.
Because children are more likely to do what we do rather than what we tell them to do.
     When we put these values into everyday action, we help create a healthy learning environment for our children and our whole family. This allows our children to learn to chart their own course through the life they create for themselves. This way our own stories that abound are therefore in the making.  

© Rachell N. Anderson, PSY. D., June 26, 2019

What Children Can Do To Save The Earth
By
Dr. Rachell N. Anderson

    Earth gives us everything we need to live a happy, healthy life. It gives us food, water, heat, light. But without mental trickery or manipulation of the cause of catastrophic events, all we have to do is count up the degree days and we’ll see that we have some serious issues here. The human population is growing so fast and so is the amount of things we use and throw away every day! The Earth can’t keep up with all of our garbage. And as a result, the earth is warming in painful ways. The increase in Earth’s temperature is causing lots of problems for plants, animals, humans and the environment
    Maybe, most of us will no longer need our earth home but our children and grandchildren will. Therefore, it’s our responsibility to teach our children how to take care of our earth home.
    Our children are constantly learning how they can make a difference in the world. Taking care of the planet and preserving our resources can be incorporated in the lessons we teach about how to be in the world. Even small steps can make a big difference.
    With the help of Dr. Google (HaHa) I found a number of ideas that resonated with me and I hope they will be helpful for you and the children in your care and guidance. Let’s begin with what I call the 3 Rs; Reduce, Re-Use & Recycle. These are things we can teach them and do ourselves.
What’s A Person To Do?
1. Turn off the lights, TVs, and appliances in all rooms that are not presently in use.
2. Avoid long showers and turn off the water while brushing your teeth, lathering your hands and applying the shampoo. Use water saving appliances when possible. Check the water rating before you buy. Use energy-efficient light bulbs. Wash your car on the grass.
3. Turn the thermostat up a few degrees in the summer and down a few degrees in winter. Open the windows whenever possible.
4. Save gas by driving slower, driving less and when possible, walk, bike or carpool or take a bus. Refuse to leave the car to idle more than a minute or two.
5. Use less plastic. Get Re-usable water bottles for all family members. If a plastic container is used, wash it and re-use it as many times as feasible. Instead of buying individually-packaged drinks, buy drinks in a bulk container and reusable water bottles. Take a reusable bag to the grocery store or ask for paper instead of plastic. The cloth ones last almost forever. Plastic is polluting our oceans and land and it’s causing harm to humans, animals and plants.
6. Recycle things. old batteries and electronics including computers, phones, televisions and games. Also, newspaper, cans and glass bottles have additional value. Most communities have a place to do this.
7. Plant things. A new tree every year is fun. Flowers, herbs and vegetables can be used to teach your kids how to care for the garden and to eat fresh and healthy meals.  
8. Consider putting a compost bin on your property and put in all your coffee grinds, fruits and vegetable peels and left over food scraps. Composting is very good for the land because it is full of nutrients. Compost makes a good fertilize your garden.
9. Pick us the trash around your home, school or neighborhood. And make sure you don’t leave your garbage lying around. The cleaner we keep our environment, the happier we’ll be.
10. Save ink. Print things only when you have to and adjust your computer to make text easy to read when possible.
    This verse from a poem written by Jeanette Neff in 1970 show how long care for the earth has been a concern for Americans.
When it’s broken, small, or empty
Will that be that something’s end
Can we fix to”
Can we fill it?
Can we give it to a friend?
Can we make that something something else
or will that something be
just a use-it-one-time-toss-it-out,
a trash-it-1-2-3?
      Remember, the best way to teach kids to care for their environment and their future is by showing them by example. Also take the time to explain to them the importance of saving the world from dying. After all, kids are watching their parents and they learn from our example.

© Dr. Rachell N. Anderson, June 26, 20