Follow The Crowd and Lose your Way
By
Dr. Rachell N. Anderson
     Do you ever wonder what’s the meaning of the sagging pants, the shortest skirts imaginable, and some of the other fashions that make you want to look away? We can blame it on conformity. Bernard M. Baruch is credited with saying “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” Thus begins the debate, to conform or to rebel.
    Most of us do it, but none want to admit, even to ourselves that we are conformists. We follow the crowd. Sometimes at our own peril. Many parents worry that their teenagers will succumb to peer pressure but teens aren’t the only ones who do it. Toddlers, seniors and people of all ages and stages do what they see others do. But why do we do it? Why are people conformists?     On one hand, a functioning society requires that people follow social norms such as obeying traffic laws, respecting others’ property, and diffusing aggression in non-violent ways. Following the behaviors of others provides us with a shortcut for determining how to behave. In an unfamiliar situation, we do what we see others do. The behavior of others informs us of what is right in that situation and how to behave. Also, following the crowd provides information about how to solve a problem, when we have no personal experience at doing so.
    Humans live in large social groups. From infancy to their early childhood years, children are influenced primarily by their care givers. Hopefully, they are taught the difference between right and wrong. They are guided away from dangerous places. They are kept safe and happy and for the first few years. They learn,  rather than question, the rules. We want to fit in and we want to belong so we comply, or suffer social disapproval. We want people to like us and we like those who show us that they do. Fitting in  means shaping our actions and thoughts to mimic what we think they want from us in order to be accepted. Society restricts us and demands that as members of the community we must shape our behavior so that it’s consistent with the social norms. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.
    Conformity can have harmful effects if one obeys automatically without questioning the the rules. In Nazi Germany, ordinary people stood by watching while others were slaughtered. In Psychology 101, we learned of the Stanford Prison Experiment where students assigned to the roles as prison guards became cruel and demanding because they were told it was expected of them.
    On the other hand, we all want to be independent. We want  make our own decisions. We want to distinguish ourselves from others. We want to standout from the crowd. We want to be acknowledged for our individuality, our creativity, way of thinking and, gain respect for our uniqueness. Fitting in doesn’t guarantee belonging. Belonging means being accepted even as others know who we really are. Sometimes the two concepts come together and we can fit in nicely and have that feeling of belonging-but now always.
    Like so many important aspects of life, conformity and nonconformity are both valid ways of acting and responding. It’s knowing when and how which of the two ways of being should be the dominating factor. Both are important, as together they enable us to be who we truly are as individuals as well as have friends, and live in harmony with our families.
    While it is important to conform in various aspects of our lives, it’s also important to recognize that everyone is different. Difference is a valuable and necessary thing for growth, creativity and emotional well-being. We bring our differences together to make a richer, more productive whole. I doubt anyone wants to live in a world so conforming that everyone and everything is the same. The problem comes when people rebel against everything that’s forbidden just because it’s forbidden: a rebel without a cause.
What’s a Person to Do?
1. Know what you stand for. Determine what is really important in terms of where you are and where you want to go.
2. Who are you? and better still, whose are you? We all exist because someone else has made it possible. We stand on their shoulders and it is to them we owe our lives and our homage.
3. Take a future perspective and imagine what you’ll think of it (the way you wear your pants, or skirt, your hair, your performance in school) in the future.
4. With freedom comes responsibility. If people want to make their own choices, they must know that they are responsible for the consequences. There are always consequences to breaking the rules and being disrespectful to others. Parents enforce it with children. The law is likely to do it with others.  
5. Take responsibility for your own behavior. If you choose to follow other’s influence, you can’t blame them for the adverse outcomes. You made the choice.
    In our society, everyone matters.
    
Dr. Rachell Anderson is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, Professor Emeritus and author. She taught at the University of Illinois and ran a Private Clinical in Springfield for more than 40 years. She lives and writes in Tunica, Mississippi. Check out her website at WWW.drrachellanderson.com for more articles and books.

Avoid The Summer Slide        
By
Dr. Rachell N. Anderson
    The Summer Slide is not a new dance nor a ride in the amusement park but it’s real. It’s the loss of academic skills and knowledge over the course of summer vacation. Summer academic  loss is pronounced in math facts, reading and spelling than in other skill areas. Numerous studies showed that on average, students score lower on standardized tests at the end of summer than they do at the beginning of summer. Summer loss for all students is estimated to be equal to about 1 month (Cooper 1996). Educators have known since 1906, that what starts as a hiccup in a 6-year-old's education can be a crisis by the time that child reaches high school. When American students are competing with children around the world who are spending four weeks longer in school each year than we are, larking through summer is a luxury cannot afford.
    We are a country that claims to take education seriously but, while we shut down public schools, we don’t shut down other public services. Imagine 2 months of vacationing in mass for them all. There would be no Army, no airports, no police, and no maintenance workers, no librarians; you get the point. You say, that would be ridiculous. Closing schools, it turns out, matter a lot to students and having them shut down all summer critically undermines our community and our nation.
    After collecting a century's worth of academic studies, Harris Cooper, at Duke University, concluded that all students lose about a month of progress in math skills each summer, while low-income students slip as many as three months in reading comprehension. Another major study by a team at Johns Hopkins University, examined more than 20 years of data meticulously tracking the progress of students from kindergarten through high school and found that low-income students fell nearly three grade levels during the summer. By ninth grade, summer learning loss could be blamed for roughly two-thirds of the achievement gap separating income groups.
    All children lose academic skills during the summer months.  Two-thirds of the academic achievement gap in reading and language found among high school students has been explained through the learning loss that occurs during the summer months of the primary school years.
    Educators and parents often voice three concerns about the possible negative impact of summer vacation on student learning. One concern is that children learn best when instruction is continuous. The long summer vacation breaks the rhythm of instruction, leads to forgetting, and requires a significant amount of review of material when students return to school in the fall.
    Three approaches to preventing summer learning loss are: extending the school year, providing summer school, and modifying the school calendar. Hazleton and colleagues (1992), suggested that 35 extra days would be needed to produce a noticeable change in student achievement. This idea has gotten no traction.
    Summer school was hijacked and gained a bad name because these programs have historically focused on remedial learning for students who have miss the mark during the regular school year. The truth is that these programs may be remedial, accelerated, or enriched learning. They typically differ significantly from the regular school program in terms of curriculum, goals, and rigor and all had a positive impact on the knowledge and skills of  students. Students at all grade levels benefitted from summer school, but students in the earliest grades and in secondary school may benefit most. Requiring parent involvement also appeared related to more effective programs.
    Finally, summer learning loss also could be used to argue for modifying the school calendar to do away with the long summer break. Many proponents of school calendar change call for modified arrangements in which children might or might not attend school for more days, but the long summer vacation is replaced by shorter cycles of attendance breaks. In 1993, the National Education Commission on Time and Learning urged school districts to develop school calendars that acknowledged differences in student learning and major changes taking place in American society. This idea had gained traction in some parts of the country but not in most.
    The evidence is clear: Yes, children do have a summer slide and it takes significant hit on their overall educational achievement.
So, what’s a parent to do?
1. Families and educators should encourage kids to stay engaged in learning throughout the summer. Reading, mathematics, and spelling is the most important areas on which to focus. Teachers’ leading lists and summer reading programs at the Public Libraries are helpful.
2. Stay involved with your child’s learning even over the summer. It can be a bonding exercise and an overwhelmingly positive experience.
3.  Use summer programs and summer camps that are effective for remedial, enrichment, or accelerated learning.
© Rachell N. Anderson, Psy. D. April 3, 2014
Dr. Rachell Anderson is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, a Professor Emeritus and author. She taught at the University of Illinois and ran a Private Clinical Practice in Springfield, Illinois for more than 40 years. She now lives and writes in Tunica, Mississippi. Check out her website at WWW.drrachellanderson.com for more articles and books.

Complaining Is Bad For You
By
Dr. Rachell N. Anderson

     Have you ever listened to the conversations of people around you and found the content was filled with massive complaints and whining? If so, you’ve noticed that you had a visceral and emotional response. That’s because complaining is bad for you. Whether you are the complainer or the listener, complaining has many destructive and few redeeming qualities. If you pay attention, you may be amazed at how much negativity you absorb on a daily basis, not just in public or in the media, but at home, at work, everywhere. I believe what we are exposed to impacts our thinking, feelings and behaviours. So, if you are surrounded by negativity, you will be more negative.
    Psychologists have known for decades that the brain has a “negativity bias”. That means we have a tendency pay more attention to negative things than positive ones and our reactions to negative things are more intense. Listening to too much
complaining actually destroys brain cells. Listening to just 30 minutes of negativity—in person or on television—can damage neurons in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for problem solving. Also, we are more likely to remember negative things than positive ones. Being in the presence of negative people makes us negative and produces the same emotional reaction in the brain as does stress, the kind that is not good for your health.
    Have you wondered what was the purpose of this whining and complaining? Sometimes, we use complaints as a conversation starter. One person start with a complaint and others chime in with one of their own. These types of conversations are likely to last longer than those with positive content. And though they may make you feel better to be in shared company, it keeps you from facing problems and finding a solutions.
    Complaining can also be an attention getter. People listen when we complain. But complaining can become a habit, demanding that you complain to anyone around you. While some people may join you in the victim role, others will avoid you because your negativity makes you not good company. People also avoid you because listening to you is depressing. Too, people who chronically complain talk, rarely listen. They take as much of your time as you give them and reject any problem solving advice that you may offer. People who complain are less likely to enjoy life, have few friends, and are less likely to come up with new ideas, as they are busy finding faults and discourage others
from trying new things as they feel that it wouldn't work. When you spend time with people who constantly complain, you are likely to view things in a negative light. However, Psychologists know that positive attitude makes everything in life better and more successful.
What’s a Person to Do?
1. Remember, complaining has detrimental affects the body, mind and spirit. Stop it. Teach yourself a different way of reacting.
2. Let go of the victim role. When you blame others you give them power over you and it’s power you lose and cannot use to make things better.
3. Rather than complain, count your blessings. These two thoughts cannot occupy your mind at the same time. It’s physiologically impossible to be negative and thankful at the same time. Look around, there’s plenty for which to be grateful.

4. Catch others doing good. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, focus on what they are doing right and give them recognition for it. If you’re the boss, give instructions rather that criticism.
5. Take leave. (Unless you’re the Psychologist: We are paid to listen. Believe me, it’s not easy work.) When you are faced with people who are negative, whine and complain, stop, be still, and take leave and remember these words from the wise. “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.”  ~Og Mandino. Or the words of Anthony J. D'Angelo. “If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.”  

Dr. Rachell Anderson is a native of Tunica, a licensed Clinical Psychologist, a Professor Emeritus and author. She taught at the University of Illinois and ran a Private Clinical Practice in Springfield, Illinois for many years. She now lives and writes in Tunica, Mississippi. Check out her website at WWW.drrachellanderson.com for more articles and books.